Picture this: you’ve stuffed yourself with holiday lunch. There’s a mess of crackers and crumbs on the table, and the uncle you see once a year has turned to you and asked what you think of these rubbish nature laws everyone keeps talking about.

You’re sleepy, full of ham and at a crossroads. Do you say exactly what you think? Do you brush it off?

Difficult conversations are just that: difficult. Here’s how to turn an awkward moment into an actual conversation.

1. Prioritise building trust

If someone feels they are in a hostile environment, they are more likely to become defensive, taking the conversation to an unconstructive place (yelling at each other over the cherries). Building trust and productive conversations can take longer than a dinner table chat, but here are some handy tricks to kick-start the connection:

Ask open ended questions. Instead of "Do you think climate change is real?" try "What's your take on all these wildfires/floods/extreme weather events we keep hearing about?"
..and ask more questions than you think! Get curious about their perspective and really listen before jumping to yours.
Repeat back what they have said to you to ensure you understand their perspective. "So what I'm hearing is you're worried about jobs in regional areas – is that right?" This shows you're actually listening.
Give them the space to talk. Even if you believe they are wrong, it’s important to give the other person the space to talk about where they are coming from.

Remember: people are multi-faceted and believe they're doing the right thing. Trust that, even if there's no way you would ever agree with them. We all believe we're acting in the best interests of ourselves and the people we care about.

2. Find what we can all agree on

Finding common ground can be a game changer – it’s a calming, neutral territory we all feel safe in to have a conversation. When you deliberately seek out topics you can agree on, it softens the tone and allows the other person to see your perspective without feeling attacked. They're also more likely to feel comfortable enough to change their mind.

Listen for their values, not just their arguments. When your third-removed cousin asks if you're still following "that leftie rubbish," they're not actually telling you what they care about. Dig deeper with questions like:

What things do you think acting to protect nature will affect?
What matters most to you about this?
What would you want to see instead?

You might find they care about farmers, regional jobs, their grandkids' future, or government overreach. Once you know what they actually value, you can find genuine overlap.

Connect to values they already have

If they care about the economy: "I totally get that jobs matter. What surprised me was learning that our ecosystems contribute $900 billion to the economy. It's not environment versus economy – they're connected."
If they care about Australian identity: "87% of our mammals exist nowhere else on Earth. These animals are uniquely ours – losing them means losing something that makes us Australian."
If they care about fairness: "We've inherited this incredible country – shouldn't we leave it in decent shape for the next generation? That's just stewardship we all share."

Share stories and memories

Most Australians have some connection to nature, even if they've forgotten it and wouldn't call themselves environmentalists. Try:

"Remember when we used to see more frogs around here?"
"Don't you reckon it'd be good if the local creek was clean enough to fish in again?"
"Do you want your grandkids to be able to see koalas in the wild?"

These aren't political questions – they're just about human experience. And they fit together hand in glove with the values people already hold.

3. Acknowledge what you don’t know

When conversations heat up, misleading questions can arise: the ice age as evidence against climate change, scientists predicting weather so badly that they surely can't predict climate change, or claims the Great Barrier Reef is doing just fine.

It's not up to you to answer every question perfectly. Sometimes admitting what you don't know can make you more credible, not less.

Using the power of “I don’t know”

It invites curiosity rather than defensiveness
It models intellectual humility, which can be more persuasive than knowing everything
It turns a potential argument into a potential learning moment for both of you

Sometimes, the best response is "I honestly don't know the answer to that – climate science is complicated. Should we look it up together?"

That’s where we come in – ACF has a bunch of handy resources based on evidence and the latest research, so you can find the info you need. Check out our recent reports and fact sheets here.

4. Have facts, but don’t rely on them

Fun fact: studies show that facts often fail to change minds, and is often actually counterproductive.

So, while it is good to have some these facts up your sleeve, remember that telling personal stories and anecdotes and emotional connection is often the ticket to a more productive conversation. It’s best not to rely on these, and just use them as ways to reiterate your experiences in the world.

A few facts you could use:

5. Know when to tap out

It’s not up to you to change the world, or the minds of others. Creating a space where it feels safe to have a conversation about nature and climate is a challenge enough. And who knows, maybe you’ll be having a much more robust conversation about it next time you see your eccentric relative.

Sometimes, the conversation just doesn’t click, and that’s okay. You can still just say “I don’t think we’re going to see eye-to-eye on this, but thank you for hearing me out. But hey, how good was that salad?”

If you feel like it’s been a productive conversation, name that. Be specific about what you liked – "I really appreciated how open you were to hearing about a different perspective" or "Thanks for actually listening, even though we don't agree on everything." Let them know you’d like to talk more in the future.

Change rarely happens in one conversation. But it might happen over several holiday breaks, a few birthdays, and the occasional Sunday roast.